not hothead (not_hothead_yet) wrote,
not hothead

Mama Terror Moment

I had it with Lil Miss.

We were settling in after school and she was at her computer playing MineCraft. I told her I was taking a shower.
While I was in the shower, she came into the bathroom and asked me if I would go with her to the store after my shower. I said "yes, we will go to the store after my shower is done."
I got out of the shower, put my clothes on and walked out of the bedroom. No Lil Miss. I went downstairs yelling for her, thinking maybe she went into her old room and was trying to open the cans of paint Liz had left. No Lil Miss. Third Son came out of his room because of all my yelling and I asked if he had seen her. He began going around the downstairs looking as well while I yelled outside in the backyard. No Lil Miss. I went out the front door and yelled. NO Lil Miss. I yelled again louder in the driveway towards the woods next to the house. No answer. I ran down the road a bit and looked (without my glasses so I don't know why I bothered) but nothing was different. I started to shake. I ran inside, grabbed my phone, my glasses and my keys. Third son was looking at me, anxiety in his eyes, "I'm going to drive and look, you stay here and if she comes back, you CALL ME RIGHT AWAY. DOn't YOU GO ANYWHERE"
"okay" he said
I ran outside and started yelling again, louder than before. I yelled so hard my voice started rattling in the middle of yelling. Meanwhile I was texting J but my hands were shaking so bad I mangled the message into "Omh jalkistti us gonr" - thanks auto-correct for at the most crucial fucking time of my life to decide to ignore me completely -

Just as I was about to get in the car, she popped out of the bushes down the road and began running towards me.

I immediately texted J saying She had showed up. he deduced what happened and started firing questions at me. I used the time it took her to get to me to calm the hell down and not hyperventilate. When she finally walked up, I managed to not throttle her, scream bloody murder or swoop her up in a bone-crushing hug. INstead I allowed myself to look as scared as I felt and talked sternly to her.

"WHY did you leave!"
"I wanted to see the cars at the end of the walk"
"you mean the main road? you wanted to look at the main road?"
"I wanted to walk to the store"
"I told you I was going to take us to the store"
"But I wanted us to *walk* to the store"
"we have had this conversation before, Lil Miss, the store is too far and it is too dangerous to walk there - there are not enough sidewalks"
"but I wanted to go for a walk"
" you cannot leave this house without me. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT. LOOK AT ME"
"you scared me so much I was going to cry. I thought you were gone."
"I'm sorry" (bursts into tears)

So now I cannot ever take a shower or a nap when she is here. JFC
Tags: kid tales, what was i thinking?

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